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Alex Smith Leaves Game On Stretcher With Gruesome Leg Injury [Update] Alex Smith Leaves Game On Stretcher With Gruesome Leg Injury [Update]

On a third-and-nine play in the third quarter, Kareem Jackson and J.J. Watt of the Houston Texans sacked Washington quarterback Alex Smith in the backfield for a big loss. The sack forced Smith to land awkwardly on his leg and cause an injury painful enough that the quarterback had to be taken off on a stretcher after…

Julio Jones Jacks Up Dallas' Jeff Heath To Prevent Interception

Julio Jones isn’t just an all-pro receiver who’s currently leading the league in receiving yards, he’s also a bonafide hard-hitter on the football field. Late in the first half, Matt Ryan took a shot down field for his star receiver to grab, but he overthrew the pass. Had Julio Jones’s safety instincts not kicked in,…

Report: Condoleezza Rice On Browns' Wish List To Interview For Head Coach [Update] Report: Condoleezza Rice On Browns' Wish List To Interview For Head Coach [Update]

With the season likely lost, and Gregg Williams being far from the ideal candidate to lead a football team, the Browns have turned their attention to who their next head coach will be for next year. One of the names that the team has an interest in interviewing is former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, according…

Quenton Nelson Fined For Leading With His Helmet On Play Made In Edited Viral Video Quenton Nelson Fined For Leading With His Helmet On Play Made In Edited Viral Video

Rookie offensive lineman Quenton Nelson had a highlight go viral this week that featured him hilariously yelling as he drove right into Jaguars linebacker Barry Church. Apparently, during the height of its popularity, the video made its way to the desk of the league’s head office. The NFL announced Friday that it was…

The Ravens Might Actually Have To Start Robert Griffin III On Sunday The Ravens Might Actually Have To Start Robert Griffin III On Sunday

Hidden behind the cloud of an injured starting quarterback was a brief glimmer of hope for the Ravens on Wednesday. With Joe Flacco missing practice because of an injured hip, rookie Lamar Jackson became the likeliest candidate to take the helm of Baltimore’s offense on Sunday against the Bengals. Jackson says he’ll…

You Wouldn't Want To Work With Draymond Green, Either You Wouldn't Want To Work With Draymond Green, Either

They have been historically great for years and are, when at their unholy apex, probably the most beautiful and terrifying basketball machine ever constructed, but the Golden State Warriors are kind of a corny bunch of dudes. This is nothing on them, really: it’s not their job to be interesting, or anyway it’s not as…

Please God Bring Back Vine For Sports

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here.

The Eagles Suck!

Last week Dom Cosentino and I discussed one simple truth of this NFL season: The Dallas Cowboys were a mess. Naturally, the Cowboys went out and beat up on the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday night.

Ass Team Of The Week: The Buccaneers Were Killed By Their Own Hot, Compressed Farts

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers lost 16-3 to Washington on Sunday, but just about every number save for the final score says the Bucs were the better team. They out-gained Washington in yards nearly two-to-one—it was 501 to 286 when the final whistle blew—and yards per play (7.5 to 5.2), and had nearly double the amount of…

Tom Brady Gets Upstaged As A Receiver By An Opposing Quarterback, Again

Early in the fourth quarter of today’s Patriots-Titans game, New England ran a wide receiver passing play where Julian Edelman threw a six-yard pass to an open Tom Brady. While it wasn’t a repeat of the infamous Super Bowl blunder—Brady actually caught the ball—the New England quarterback showed that his ability to…

Bills' Dion Dawkins Scores Wide-Open Fat Guy Touchdown Bills' Dion Dawkins Scores Wide-Open Fat Guy Touchdown

The Bills are currently dominating the Jets despite the fact that their fourth starting quarterback of the season, Matt Barkley, had not played a regular season game since Jan. 1, 2017. Buffalo clearly recognized that its opponent wasn’t going to stop anything today, so the oh-so-reliable fat guy touchdown play was…

Bills Don't Rule Out Yet Another Outbreak Of Nathan Peterman Bills Don't Rule Out Yet Another Outbreak Of Nathan Peterman

Nathan Peterman had the best game of his career last Sunday against the Bears. Yes, he threw for three interceptions and no touchdowns as he averaged a horrendous 3.84 yards per attempt on 41 passes, and yes, the Bills lost 41-9, but ... it appears there is no positive point on which to end this sentence.

The Deadcast Went To Nashville, Ate A Lot, And Invented A Hideous Milkshake The Deadcast Went To Nashville, Ate A Lot, And Invented A Hideous Milkshake

The votes are counted, the headaches have dissipated, Drew’s GI tract is back in acceptable working order after a frontal assault by a smallish bite of Bolton’s hot chicken, and the verdict is in: Nashville, Tennessee is a pretty cool place to spend like 36 hours. It would probably be even more fun to spend even more…

I Forgot How Much It Rules To Watch Football At A Bar I Forgot How Much It Rules To Watch Football At A Bar

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here.

The Dallas Cowboys Are Still A Mess

The Dallas Cowboys added wide receiver Amari Cooper in a trade with the Oakland Raiders during their bye week. It helped! Cooper was the Cowboys’ leading receiver, catching 5 passes for 58 yards and a score on Monday night. It didn’t help the Cowboys win, of course: They lost at home to the Tennessee Titans, 28-14.

Le'Veon Bell Has Reached The "Sending Fake-Deep Tweets" Stage Of His Holdout Le'Veon Bell Has Reached The "Sending Fake-Deep Tweets" Stage Of His Holdout

Because James Conner is good and the Steelers are 5-2, everyone seems to have decided that Le’Veon Bell’s extended holdout was a bad idea. This new consensus may be wearing on Bell, based on these two weird tweets he sent yesterday:

Vance Joseph To Demaryius Thomas: Please Stop Pointing Out How Much We Suck Vance Joseph To Demaryius Thomas: Please Stop Pointing Out How Much We Suck

Vance Joseph is not a fan of Demaryius Thomas airing out his grievances to the media about how the Broncos disrespected and misled him throughout this season. Since beating the Broncos 19-17 with his new team, Thomas has been answering any and all questions about the organization’s ineptitude.

Dez Bryant Teaches Us A Very Valuable Lesson About Never Settling For The Browns Dez Bryant Teaches Us A Very Valuable Lesson About Never Settling For The Browns

Dez Bryant has finally found a team that’ll give him what he wants, and it’s a pretty good team, too. The New Orleans Saints have agreed to sign the former Cowboys receiver to a one-year deal for the rest of the season.

Ass Team Of The Week: The Jets Would Like To Welcome You To Self-Loathing Football Season

I would like to talk to you about self-loathing football season.

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