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Steve Yzerman Is Leaving Tampa And Hell Yeah Motherfucker He Is Definitely Coming To Detroit Steve Yzerman Is Leaving Tampa And Hell Yeah Motherfucker He Is Definitely Coming To Detroit

Mission accomplished! Mark it the hell down. Steve Yzerman is finally coming back home to Detroit to save the godforsaken Red Wings. At least, that’s the only logical conclusion one can draw from today’s news:

The Capitals Rained Fire On The Lightning The Capitals Rained Fire On The Lightning

It was a dream start for the Washington Capitals tonight—or for any team on the road in a Game 7. Just a minute into the deciding match-up of the Eastern Conference Finals against the Lightning, the Caps’ all-time best player dramatically announced his importance. On a cross-ice pass from Tom Wilson, Alex Ovechkin…

Braydon Coburn Made The Mistake Of Trying To Fight Tom Wilson Braydon Coburn Made The Mistake Of Trying To Fight Tom Wilson

A small scrap in the first period of the Capitals-Lightning Game 7 sent Tampa’s Braydon Coburn and Washington’s Tom Wilson to the box for two minutes each. When that time was up, Wilson wanted to escalate the violence, and Coburn foolishly decided to try and stand his ground in an old-fashioned hockey fight.

The Capitals Were Finally Flawless The Capitals Were Finally Flawless

It wasn’t Andrei Vasilevsky’s fault, but it’s hard to beat perfection. The Tampa Bay Lightning goaltender stopped 31 of 33 Capitals shots tonight in Washington’s 3-0 win over the Bolts in Game 6. Several of those saves were spectacular—though unsurprising for anyone who had seen Vasilevsky’s previous three…

The Lightning Power Play Is A Thing To Behold The Lightning Power Play Is A Thing To Behold

The numbers are intimidating. The Tampa Bay Lightning had the league’s third best power play during the regular season, at 23.9 percent. They have the best power play of any team left alive, at 30.8 percent. They are 6-of-14 on the power play against the Capitals. They have scored a power-play goal in nine straight…

The Lightning Scored Three Beautiful Goals And The Capitals Only Scored Two The Lightning Scored Three Beautiful Goals And The Capitals Only Scored Two

It might seem a bit tedious to go through all the goals in the Lightning’s 4-2 Game 4 win over the Capitals on Thursday night, which evened the Eastern Conference Finals at two games apiece. But bear with me—in the tensest game of the series so far, every scoring play (minus the empty netter with two seconds to go)…

It Was Never Going To Be Easy For The Capitals It Was Never Going To Be Easy For The Capitals

The Washington Capitals came crashing back down to earth tonight in a 4-2 loss to the Lightning in Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals, shrinking the series lead of these briefly unbeatable-looking Caps down to 2-1.

The Capitals Look Unbeatable And I Don't Know What's Happening The Capitals Look Unbeatable And I Don't Know What's Happening

I’m sorry, what? The Caps spanked the Lightning last night. That’s two consecutive spankings! What is going on here? It would be a little too psychologically neat to posit that all the Ovechkin-era Capitals ever needed was to be underdogs, finally without pressure. Or that once they were finally able to dispatch their…

It Has Come To This: Coach Orders Brad Marchand To Stop Licking Opponents It Has Come To This: Coach Orders Brad Marchand To Stop Licking Opponents

A request from the league didn’t do the trick. A sternly worded letter has been sent; an NHL bigwig also delivered the message to the player and his team’s manager. Now we are here: Bruins coach Bruce Cassidy ordering his player to stop licking the faces of his opponents before the start of today’s Game 5. Per ESPN:

Tuukka Rask Throws Hands At Crease Intruder, Almost Sparks Goalie Brawl

The Lightning and Bruins are currently previewing tonight what could be a very good playoff series next month, and going by this game, tempers will be hot if these teams meet again.

Victor Hedman Has A Weird Pregame Ritual

Before every game for most of his career, Tampa defenseman Victor Hedman plays the knife game, aka five-finger fillet, aka mumblety-peg, aka stabscotch, rapidly stabbing the blade of his stick between the spread fingers of Lightning assistant equipment manager Rob Kennedy. While he reportedly isn’t always perfect,…

Please Get Erik Karlsson Out Of Ottawa Please Get Erik Karlsson Out Of Ottawa

The Ottawa Senators were a lost cause long before last night, but I think this play from Thursday was the official end, in which Victor Hedman faces only the mildest of resistance as he skates to the net for a goal that would give his Lightning a lead they’d never relinquish. It pretty well summed up the bored,…

It's The Connor McDavid Show It's The Connor McDavid Show

It’s not yet officially a lost season for the Oilers, sexy preseason Cup picks who find themselves far out of a playoff spot, but it’s been a disaster so far. Meanwhile the Lightning have been the only consistently great team this year in a league packed with mediocrity. So what happened on Monday when Tampa came to…

Dan Girardi Leaves Game After Taking A Slap Shot To The Head Dan Girardi Leaves Game After Taking A Slap Shot To The Head

Tampa Bay Lightning defenseman Dan Girardi suffered a brutal injury in the second period of the team’s 5-2 win against the Red Wings Sunday night. As Detroit’s Martin Frk fired a one-timer from the faceoff circle, Girardi went down on one knee to try and block it from close range. Frk’s shot hit Girardi right in the…

Nikita Kucherov And Steven Stamkos Have Beautiful Chemistry

Tampa Bay Lightning scorers Nikita Kucherov and Steven Stamkos have only been teammates since 2013, but at the end of the second period tonight against Montreal, the pair showed off the communication skills of a longtime married couple. As the Lightning pushed the puck down deep in the Canadiens’ zone, Kucherov…

The Golden Knights Are The Best Story In Hockey The Golden Knights Are The Best Story In Hockey

If you thought a December game between the Tampa Bay Lightning and the Vegas Golden Knights would end up pitting two of the NHL’s best teams, and would be one of the most exciting games of the season, you’re a fucking liar, get off my website, we don’t like liars here. If you’re as baffled by Vegas’s success as I…

Some Video Game Passing Gave The Lightning A Perfect Goal

You know how in the old NHL games, you could just lazily tap the X button and see the puck move in a flawless straight line right onto your teammate’s stick? Well, the Tampa Bay Lightning just recreated that unlikely gameplay with some tic-tac-toe passing that padded their lead against San Jose.

Dan Girardi Flattens Matt Calvert With Shoulder-To-Shoulder Check

For a brief moment in yesterday’s Blue Jackets-Lightning third period, veteran Tampa defenseman Dan Girardi brought back a lost art. As Columbus’s Matt Calvert focused on bringing the puck into the offensive zone, Girardi laid him out in the middle of the ice, delivering a clean shoulder check with enough power to…

Nikita Kucherov Won't Stop Scoring Nikita Kucherov Won't Stop Scoring

With a game-tying warp-speed slapper that went off the post and in, Tampa Bay’s Nikita Kucherov continued his incredible year-opening streak. Through his first seven games this season, Kucherov has scored in every one. He’s the sixth player in the modern era to do this, and in the last 30 years, only Mario Lemieux,…

J.T. Brown Says He Got Death Threats For Raising Fist During Anthem J.T. Brown Says He Got Death Threats For Raising Fist During Anthem

Tampa Bay Lightning winger J.T. Brown revealed in a statement on Twitter that he has received death threats after he raised his fist while standing for the national anthem before a game on Saturday.

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