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Good morning! Welcome to The Morning Shift, your roundup of the auto news you crave, all in one place every weekday morning. Here are the important stories you need to know.

Canada Might Soon Make It Legal To Be Drunk And Go Canoeing Canada Might Soon Make It Legal To Be Drunk And Go Canoeing

In Canada it’s currently illegal to paddle a canoe and be drunk at the same time. Doing so can leave you subject to the country’s strict drunk-driving laws, which can mean fines, driving license suspensions, and vehicle impoundment. But wait! According to the National Post, paddling a canoe while smashed might soon…

Chicken With An Addiction To Tim Hortons Keeps Crossing The Road Chicken With An Addiction To Tim Hortons Keeps Crossing The Road

For several weeks now, a chicken in Shediac, New Brunswick, has been crossing the road, clearing the parking lot of delicious crumbs and then crossing again and returning home.

A Canada Man Got A Ticket For Going One KPH Over The Speed Limit After Passing A Cop A Canada Man Got A Ticket For Going One KPH Over The Speed Limit After Passing A Cop

A man in Canada tempted fate and could have suffered the consequences if it hadn’t been for a clear-eyed judge. Mathieu Gagne was driving behind a cop on a two-lane road in Alberta, Canada, on Friday when he crossed the broken yellow line in the middle to pass. Gagne told CTV, the officer was driving slower than the…

Autoworkers At A GM Plant In Canada Are Striking Over Their Future Autoworkers At A GM Plant In Canada Are Striking Over Their Future

About 2,800 unionized autoworkers at a GM plant in Ingersoll, Ontario, went on strike late Sunday night. Jerry Dias, the union’s president, said Monday it could be awhile before they get back to work.

Coyote Survives A Short, Strange Ride In Toyota's Grille Coyote Survives A Short, Strange Ride In Toyota's Grille

Usually, any story that begins with a driver hearing a crunch while on the road won’t have a happy ending. Every so often though, it happens. On September 3, on a drive to Calgary, Alberta, Georgie Knox hit a coyote and “heard a crunch.” Assuming it was dead, she drove on, until 20 minutes later a construction worker…

Canadian Cops Spent All Summer Tracking This Guy Down For Reckless Cycling Canadian Cops Spent All Summer Tracking This Guy Down For Reckless Cycling

People of Toronto can rest easy tonight knowing this wheelie-popping bicycle badass has finally been identified and politely ordered to appear in court for his hijinks and tomfoolery. But seriously, turns out you can be charged with careless driving on a bicycle.

This Canadian Hero Deserves Eternal Glory For Saving So Many Classic Saabs This Canadian Hero Deserves Eternal Glory For Saving So Many Classic Saabs

When I asked Félix “Why Saab?” he responded with: “I bought a 900 S when I was about 20.”

Diplomats Plagued by 'Sonic Weapon' in Cuba Reported to Suffer From Traumatic Brain Injury Diplomats Plagued by 'Sonic Weapon' in Cuba Reported to Suffer From Traumatic Brain Injury

The bizarre reports of a “sonic weapon” allegedly turned on American and Canadian diplomats in Havana, Cuba, are getting more and more curious, if not disturbing, by the day.

Calgary Airport Replaces Handicapped Spots With 'Lexus Only' Parking Calgary Airport Replaces Handicapped Spots With 'Lexus Only' Parking

You know those stupid novelty signs that say things like “Mustang Parking Only” that dorks like to put in their garages? They’re harmless fun, right? Of course they are. But you know, you could make them a whole lot less harmless if you replaced handicapped spots with signs like that, in exchange for money from one…

Disturbing Video Shows Pickup Truck Driver Brutally Beating Elderly Cyclist With Small Club Disturbing Video Shows Pickup Truck Driver Brutally Beating Elderly Cyclist With Small Club

Perhaps in a very focused effort to prove that not all Canadians are polite, 65-year-old David Fox brutally beat a 74-year-old cyclist with a wooden implement that appears to be a fish club, a small, heavy bat used to kill fish.

'Doofy' American Kid Has His Lost Car Found By Sweet, Sweet Canadians 'Doofy' American Kid Has His Lost Car Found By Sweet, Sweet Canadians

When your dad reaches out to one of the biggest cities in Canada and describes you as ‘doofy,’ a few things are pretty certain: you fucked up pretty badly, you have a good dad, and the people of Canada are going to do all they can to help. Because that’s just who Canadians are. If you don’t believe me, ask Gavin…

Car Crash Turns Utility Pole Into Fireball-Shooting Mortal Kombat Character Car Crash Turns Utility Pole Into Fireball-Shooting Mortal Kombat Character

A driver in Ontario, Canada, recently discovered that crashing your minivan into a power pole can have bigger repercussions than just higher insurance premiums. Enraged at nearly getting toppled, the utility pole started spewing fire balls down the line like it was some kind of video game baddie.

The History Behind Canada's Record-Breaking Sniper Kill The History Behind Canada's Record-Breaking Sniper Kill

The size of Canada’s military force is minuscule compared to the United States, but one thing our northern neighbors do have is a damn good sniper corps. We found out just how deadly their shooters are last week when a member of the Joint Task Force 2 shot an ISIS fighter in Iraq from more than two miles away,…

Canadian Sniper Kills ISIS Target From A Record Two Miles Away Canadian Sniper Kills ISIS Target From A Record Two Miles Away

A Canadian sniper shot and killed an ISIS operative 3,540 meters away, shattering the old record by more than 1,000 meters. The Canadian Armed Forces confirmed the kill Thursday, saying a member of its Joint Task Force 2 made the shot in Iraq within the last month.

I Will Never Love Anything As Much As This Guy Loves A Random Stretch Of Highway I Will Never Love Anything As Much As This Guy Loves A Random Stretch Of Highway

The Trans-Canada Highway is a highway that, naturally, goes across Canada. It’s 4,990 miles long (or 8,030 kilometers, in Canadian), and it took more than two decades to complete it. This guy believes he found the last paved section, and boy howdy is he jazzed about it.

The Fascinating Process That Turned Maple And Carbon Fiber Into Canada's F1 Trophy The Fascinating Process That Turned Maple And Carbon Fiber Into Canada's F1 Trophy

Imagine being a Formula One driver during a Grand Prix race. You’ve worked your way through the qualification session and managed to secure a respectable starting position on the grid. Miraculously, the engine in your car held together. (For the sake of this exercise, you don’t drive for McLaren-Honda.) You battled it…

Lightly Used Ugly Ferrari For Sale Lightly Used Ugly Ferrari For Sale

Ferraris are expensive, in case you weren’t aware. This one here is currently on sale in Québec for $1.6 million. Tabernac de crisse de calisse de ostie!

Two Canadian Kids Crash Parents' Truck In Hella Canadian Joyride To Tim Hortons Two Canadian Kids Crash Parents' Truck In Hella Canadian Joyride To Tim Hortons

Two Canadian brothers, aged 6 and 8, really, really wanted some breakfast, and they wanted it from the holiest of Canadian holy sites: Tim Hortons. So, why wait for Mom and Dad? They stole their parents’ truck and went anyway, per the CBC, only to lose control in the drive-thru and crash in a field.

Star Trek Fan Forced to Surrender 'ASIMIL8' License Plate for Being Offensive Star Trek Fan Forced to Surrender 'ASIMIL8' License Plate for Being Offensive

A Star Trek fan in Canada has been forced to turn over his personalized license plate after people complained its message, ASIMIL8, was insulting to indigenous people.

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