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'Oh Shit,' Mutters GOP, As Donald Trump Hurtles Closer to Becoming Nominee 'Oh Shit,' Mutters GOP, As Donald Trump Hurtles Closer to Becoming Nominee

Today is Super Tuesday, in which a bunch of states have their primaries, and where traditionally, whoever wins big tends to take their party’s nomination. Hahahaha. Remember when we all said Trump was definitely not going to be nominee? Remember those sweet and innocent times?

Orange, Pants-Wetting 'Con Artist:' Ranking Marco Rubio's Insults of Donald Trump Orange, Pants-Wetting 'Con Artist:' Ranking Marco Rubio's Insults of Donald Trump

We still have a full 252 days until the presidential election, and the Republican primaries don’t end until June. And yet this election cycle has already melted down to an impressively ridiculous degree, culminating with Marco Rubio blazing across the South trying to match Donald Trump insult for insult. This is a bad…

Make America So Great We Don't Even Need to Worry About Spelling  Make America So Great We Don't Even Need to Worry About Spelling 

Lamprey eel spray-painted gold Donald Trump had a decent debate Thursday night, in that he continued to offer “scant details on policy” as the New York Times put it, but lobbed a lot of insults, two things GOP voters apparently love. This morning, he celebrated.

Melania Trump on Donald: 'I Don't Feel He Insulted The Mexicans'  Melania Trump on Donald: 'I Don't Feel He Insulted The Mexicans' 

Melania Trump, the beautiful wife of nacho cheese golem Donald, appeared on morning television today to talk about the person she’s chosen to spend her life beside. Ms. Trump revealed that she doesn’t believe her husband “insulted the Mexicans,” (he did), and she doesn’t think he called for a total ban on Muslim…

Someone Tell Pro-Life Champion Donald Trump He Already Missed the Anniversary of Roe v. Wade Someone Tell Pro-Life Champion Donald Trump He Already Missed the Anniversary of Roe v. Wade

One endearing thing about undead tangerine and presidential candidate Donald Trump is what a bad liar he is. Take his insistence that he’s now super anti-abortion, after years of being pro-choice: it just sounds like bullshit. Trump took to Facebook Tuesday night to insist again that he hates abortion and loves…

Trump Voters in South Carolina Want to Ban Both Muslims and Gays From Entering the Country  Trump Voters in South Carolina Want to Ban Both Muslims and Gays From Entering the Country 

The traveling cavalcade of bullshit known as primary season moved to South Carolina this week, where Trump voters continue to come up with new reasons for the rest of us to say we’re Canadian when traveling abroad. This time: a new poll shows that 31% of them would back a ban on homosexuals entering the United States.

Donald Trump Threatens to Sue 'Liar' and 'Totally Unstable Individual' Ted Cruz Donald Trump Threatens to Sue 'Liar' and 'Totally Unstable Individual' Ted Cruz

Spongebob impersonator and dignified orator Donald Trump is holding a freewheeling press conference in South Carolina right now to yell about everyone, but chiefly Ted Cruz. He also released a statement threatening to sue Cruz for saying mean things about him.

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