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Secret Service May Rent Floor in Trump Tower to Ensure Family's Protection Secret Service May Rent Floor in Trump Tower to Ensure Family's Protection

As we reach the twilight of 2016, I realize that no horror or indignity can be brushed away as an impossibility. David Bowie and Prince are not, in fact, immortal. After 400 years, Native Americans are still fighting for just sovereignty over their land. The country elected a misogynist double-chinned boil as…

Michelle Obama On Black Kids Seeing a Black First Family: 'It Matters' Michelle Obama On Black Kids Seeing a Black First Family: 'It Matters'

Aw, look at our parents. By January of next year, the Obamas will be out of the White House, Malia Obama will be basking in her pre-Harvard gap year, and Sasha will continue to serve as my emotional muse. We only have a few more months to creepily admire them, so let’s spend it wisely on these photos from Essence’s…

Check Out the Obama Family's Post-White House Digs Check Out the Obama Family's Post-White House Digs

The Obama family has settled on their post-White House residence, which means it’s time to pass judgment on their choice.

People Are Pissed at Cosmopolitan for Calling the Kardashians 'America's First Family'  People Are Pissed at Cosmopolitan for Calling the Kardashians 'America's First Family' 

Ok, so. Out of all the myriad worldwide injustices readily available for consumption via the reading device of your choosing, we have elected to be outraged about a trolly editorial decision made by Cosmopolitan magazine. The print edition.

Mystery: FLOTUS Won't Say Which Obama Daughter They Call Grumpy Cat

On Thursday night, First Lady Michelle Obama visited The Late Show to swap stories with Letterman about their kids. Wonder how Sasha and Malia are doing?

Malia Obama Is America's Next Rap Tastemaker  Malia Obama Is America's Next Rap Tastemaker 

Malia Obama, Known Teen, has been up to her USUAL SHIT: a selfie of the eldest Obama daughter wearing a Pro Era tee has surfaced (Gawker has more details about the photo's origins here), and everybody is mostly like, "good for Joey Bada$$."

Sasha And Malia Obama Are OMG So Embarrassed By Their Dorky Dad Sasha And Malia Obama Are OMG So Embarrassed By Their Dorky Dad

President Obama has revealed that his teen daughters are just as terrifying as regular-non-President's-daughter teens, but unlike regular teens, Sasha and Malia Obama are, like, IRL friends with Beyonce. Maybe we should send that trio to the really tough diplomatic negotiations.

You Could Still Snag One of Sasha Obama's Super-Cute Sweaters You Could Still Snag One of Sasha Obama's Super-Cute Sweaters

Last week, Sasha Obama appeared at a basketball game in a unicorn sweater from Asos. It promptly sold out, delivering a dangerous shock to the nation's strategic unicorn sweater reserve.

Sasha Obama Causes Nationwide Unicorn Sweater Shortage Sasha Obama Causes Nationwide Unicorn Sweater Shortage

On Sunday, Sasha Obama wore a sweater with a unicorn on it to a basketball game. By Thursday, unicorn sweaters had gone extinct. (Is "extinct" the word for a sweater selling out? Maybe it should be.)

President's New Puppy More Press-Friendly Than the President President's New Puppy More Press-Friendly Than the President

So we're on the brink of maybe-war, it's not clear that anyone knows what they're doing, and to make matters worse, President Barack Obama still hasn't intervened in the tragedy that is the casting of the Fifty Shades of Grey movie. Luckily, Sunny, the First Family's adorable new pup, is here to do some damage…

Jerk Journalist Doesn't Give a Shit About Standards, Writes About Sasha and Malia's Spring Break Jerk Journalist Doesn't Give a Shit About Standards, Writes About Sasha and Malia's Spring Break

Matthew Boyle, a "reporter" at Breitbart.com, just yesterday penned an exclusive piece in which he abandons journalistic conventions as well as common decency by revealing the location of Sasha and Malia Obama's spring break. The first sentence of his article reads: "A source tipped Breitbart News off to the First…

The White House Doesn't Want Bikini-Body Obsessed World Leering at Paparazzi Pix of Sasha and Malia on the Beach The White House Doesn't Want Bikini-Body Obsessed World Leering at Paparazzi Pix of Sasha and Malia on the Beach

Last week, President Barack Obama and his family were in Hawaii for their annual Christmas vacation. Photographers captured several moments of POTUS during the trip, including a jaunt to a shave ice shop and a golf outing. Some vacation shots, like this one, are actually released by the White House itself. But when a…

Secret Service Exhausted by Massive Number of Death Threats Against President Obama Secret Service Exhausted by Massive Number of Death Threats Against President Obama

Being the President is a much harder job than I CAN B PRESIDENT Barbie and the movie First Kid make it seem. In fact, one of the occupational hazards of the job are near-constant death threats. And — SURPRISE — the same President who inspires billboards more racist than a cartoon version of Birth of a Nation starring…

NO HEADLINE NO HEADLINE

The First Daughters made a relatively rare public appearance this weekend, pre-storm, looking beautiful and grown up.

President and First Lady Celebrate their 20th Anniversary With Barf-Inducingly Cute Video President and First Lady Celebrate their 20th Anniversary With Barf-Inducingly Cute Video

Tonight, the Mitt hits the fan when President Obama and Governor Romney face each other in a talking points slapfest we call a Presidential Debate for the first time this election season. But today's also another important date in the Obama family calendar: Barack and Michelle's 20th anniversary. To celebrate, the…

Democrat or Republican, We Can All Agree That the Obama Girls Are the Best Democrat or Republican, We Can All Agree That the Obama Girls Are the Best

Now that it's election season, everyone wants to know: are you better off than you were four years ago? That's a complicated question. Here's an easier one: have Sasha and Malia grown from adorable little girls into beautiful and poised young women? Answer: a resounding YES!

D.C. Police Officer Allegedly Threatens to Shoot The First Lady D.C. Police Officer Allegedly Threatens to Shoot The First Lady

A police officer in the District of Columbia's Special Operations Division, which is tasked with providing motor escorts for the First Family, was allegedly overheard telling his fellow officers that he was going to shoot First Lady Michelle Obama. Though details of the incident aren't yet clear, the department's…

Please Stop Bugging Michelle Obama About Running for Senate Please Stop Bugging Michelle Obama About Running for Senate

She may have academic credentials that match her Commander-in-Chief husband, the popular appeal of Madeleine Albright circa 1999, and the fashion chops of Carla Bruni, but Michelle Obama wants to make it clear that she's not interested in running for Senate in 2016. In other news, people are already starting to badger…

First Dog Totally Photobombs Spanish Language News Broadcast First Dog Totally Photobombs Spanish Language News Broadcast

Univision reporter Adriana Arevalo became an unintentional witness to history today, as a shot in front of the White House just so happened to capture in it one of Bo Obama's many exuberant summits with the White House lawn.

Michelle Obama Reveals the President Is Kind of Freaking Out About Malia Dating Michelle Obama Reveals the President Is Kind of Freaking Out About Malia Dating

Michelle Obama is out promoting her Let's Move campaign, and it seems that with every media appearance she reveals yet another charming detail about the First Family. Today Rachael Ray asked her about whether Malia is dating yet. To her great credit, Michelle kept her lips sealed:

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