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Trump Met With Top Military Leaders and Teased the Threat of War Because He’s an Asshole Trump Met With Top Military Leaders and Teased the Threat of War Because He’s an Asshole

Sometimes, unexpected guests show up at funerals. And sometimes those guests get on the microphone and say ungodly things or start singing, like this woman:

Your President Doesn’t Understand the 1st Amendment or What the Senate Intelligence Committee Does Your President Doesn’t Understand the 1st Amendment or What the Senate Intelligence Committee Does

Early Thursday morning, your president got on Twitter and demonstrated to the American people that he doesn’t understand how the First Amendment works, and he has no clue what the function of the Senate Intelligence Committee is.

Federal Judge Officially Dismisses Guilty Verdict Against Joe Arpaio, Who Purposely Ignored Court Order, Illegally Detained Latinos While Sheriff Federal Judge Officially Dismisses Guilty Verdict Against Joe Arpaio, Who Purposely Ignored Court Order, Illegally Detained Latinos While Sheriff

Former Maricopa County, Ariz., Sheriff Joe Arpaio will officially have his criminal record scrubbed clean after a federal judge accepted his presidential pardon Wednesday.

Trump Lands in Puerto Rico and Delivers Drunken-Uncle Speech, Notes That Officials Should Be Proud That More Haven’t Died Trump Lands in Puerto Rico and Delivers Drunken-Uncle Speech, Notes That Officials Should Be Proud That More Haven’t Died

At this point, I kind of just want President Donald Trump to STFU. At first when he was debating Hillary Clinton, he was amusing. Once he got elected, the more he spoke, the more it proved how dangerous this was going to be.

Welfare Programs Could Be the Next Target of a Donald Trump Executive Order Welfare Programs Could Be the Next Target of a Donald Trump Executive Order

The Trump administration is looking to make big changes to the country’s welfare system, and as part of that process, administration officials are considering an executive order that would require federal agencies to review low-income-assistance programs.

Your President Is a Gotdamn Idiot, and This Video Clip Proves It Once and for All Your President Is a Gotdamn Idiot, and This Video Clip Proves It Once and for All

People crack jokes about the current president daily. We discuss his lack of finesse and talk about his questionable degree of intelligence and all the idiotic things he says via his Twitter account—the access to which, shockingly, no one has taken from him yet.

Trump Adds North Korea to His Infamous Travel Ban: Power Move or More Child’s Play From the Idiot in Chief? Trump Adds North Korea to His Infamous Travel Ban: Power Move or More Child’s Play From the Idiot in Chief?

We all laughed over the weekend when, in response to Golden State Warriors point guard Steph Curry saying that he didn’t want to go to the White House, Donald Trump responded with something akin to, “Yeah! Well, I disinvite you anyway!” It was yet another juvenile moment in a long line of juvenile moments this…

Trump’s Hate-Filled Rant Against Black Protest May Have Just Ensured Kaepernick an NFL Job Trump’s Hate-Filled Rant Against Black Protest May Have Just Ensured Kaepernick an NFL Job

President Donald Trump just might have helped Colin Kaepernick get back in the NFL. Trump spoke to a Huntsville, Ala., crowd on Friday night and did what he’s done best since taking office: continued to rip the fabric of America down the racial seam.

Melania Trump Wants the Next Generation to Live by the Golden Rule, but What About Her Husband? Melania Trump Wants the Next Generation to Live by the Golden Rule, but What About Her Husband?

During a speech before the United Nations General Assembly on Wednesday, first lady Melania Trump (damn, that was hard to type) called on world leaders to teach young people the importance of living by the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Is Donald Trump a White Supremacist? A Racial-Draft Analysis Is Donald Trump a White Supremacist? A Racial-Draft Analysis

White America is still clutching its pearls in response to ESPN host Jemele Hill’s Twitter rant calling Donald Trump a white supremacist. The fallout from the incident has sparked a lively debate in journalistic circles: Is it appropriate for a company’s employee to spout his or her political beliefs on a personal…

Ga. School District Apologizes After Teacher Tells Students They Can’t Wear Trump Campaign Shirts, ‘Just Like You Cannot Wear a Swastika’ Ga. School District Apologizes After Teacher Tells Students They Can’t Wear Trump Campaign Shirts, ‘Just Like You Cannot Wear a Swastika’

A Georgia school district has issued an apology after a teacher reportedly told two students that their “Make America Great Again” T-shirts, representing President Donald Trump’s campaign, wouldn’t be allowed in the classroom.

Sebastian Gorka, Deputy Assistant to Donald Trump, Writes ‘Blunt Resignation Letter’ and Leaves Administration Sebastian Gorka, Deputy Assistant to Donald Trump, Writes ‘Blunt Resignation Letter’ and Leaves Administration

In the midst of a real, damaging storm hitting ground in Texas, a media storm is brewing out of the Donald Trump White House. In addition to a pardon issued to the racist former sheriff of Maricopa County, Ariz., reports are now surfacing that Sebastian Gorka, deputy assistant to Trump and a person reportedly closely…

When Your Job Is Finding Positive News Stories About the President, You Have to Say ‘Screw It’ and Just Quit When Your Job Is Finding Positive News Stories About the President, You Have to Say ‘Screw It’ and Just Quit

Previously, on White House Apprentice, we found out that Donald Trump has a folder delivered to him twice daily that contains positive cable news clippings, articles, interview transcripts, tweets and even photos of himself that show him “looking powerful” on TV. The folder was curated by the White House…

‘Teleprompter Trump’ Calls for Unity a Day After ‘Rally Trump’ Spit Hot Hatred ‘Teleprompter Trump’ Calls for Unity a Day After ‘Rally Trump’ Spit Hot Hatred

In the continued push to prove that the president of White Walkers was once a compassionate human person, Donald Trump gave another speech less than 24 hours after his wildly ridiculous retelling of events in which he compared white supremacist terrorists in Charlottesville, Va., to those who were fighting against…

Steve Bannon Goes Rogue, Calls Reporter and Spills All the Lipton, but Something Doesn’t Seem Right Steve Bannon Goes Rogue, Calls Reporter and Spills All the Lipton, but Something Doesn’t Seem Right

Steve Bannon, aka Fat Russell Crowe Face, aka the Notorious S.T.E.V.E, aka Papa Bannon, has gone rogue. With rumors swirling that the White House chief strategist might not survive the week, Bannon pulled an Anthony Scaramucci Mane and called a reporter to dump all the Lipton.

Trump Disbands Advisory Councils After CEOs ‘Greyjoy’ off His Sinking Ship Trump Disbands Advisory Councils After CEOs ‘Greyjoy’ off His Sinking Ship

Clearly it isn’t a courageous move by CEOs to abandon the president of white supremacy right after his off-the-rails white nationalist rant, but in a symbolic move, top corporate leaders have left the executive councils, forcing the president to end the groups altogether.

Here’s Why the CEOs Leaving Trump’s Councils Aren’t Heroes Here’s Why the CEOs Leaving Trump’s Councils Aren’t Heroes

When I was in the seventh grade, my dad gave me firm instructions to come home after school. My middle school was across the street from a mall, which meant that after school, everyone hung out, and my dad didn’t want me in the mall getting into trouble, since a group of kids had been caught stealing.

Trump Has Folder With Photos of Him on TV Looking Powerful Delivered to Him Because He’s a Child Trump Has Folder With Photos of Him on TV Looking Powerful Delivered to Him Because He’s a Child

I wish this were a joke. Seriously, I wish that the president of the White Walkers wasn’t this shallow and embarrassing, but according to a Vice News report, this dumbass has a folder full of positive cable news clippings, articles, interview transcripts, tweets and even “photos of Trump on TV looking powerful”…

Trump Retweets Unnamed-Source Report on North Korea Condemned by UN Ambassador Because He Doesn’t Know What the Hell He’s Doing Trump Retweets Unnamed-Source Report on North Korea Condemned by UN Ambassador Because He Doesn’t Know What the Hell He’s Doing

Because Donald Trump has no clue what the hell he’s doing in office, and because no one in his staff can keep his dumb ass off Twitter, he tweeted out an anonymously sourced story (because, you know, Fox News), and within hours, United Nations Ambassador Nikki Haley condemned the same story on Fox News.

Damn ... Damn ... Dayumm! Jimmie Walker Tells Fox News He Loves Trump, Bill Maher and Ronald Reagan Damn ... Damn ... Dayumm! Jimmie Walker Tells Fox News He Loves Trump, Bill Maher and Ronald Reagan

Before we begin this article, I need to reveal that a few weeks ago, I swore a solemn oath to the gods of hot sauce and ankle lotion that I would never publicly refer to a black person as a “coon.” I didn’t know I would be tested this soon.

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