Oh, Sean. Sean “Spicy Facts” Spicer. I knew you couldn’t do it. I knew you couldn’t just take your mismatched shoes and your White House bush and leave. I knew you’d be back. Because you love the limelight; you always have.
I don’t have a crystal ball, but I did sip Crystal Pepsi a few times back in the 1990s, and I always look for ways to honor the legacy of Miss Cleo, so I have some predictions for the new year to share. Take them with a grain of salt—preferably Lawry’s Seasoned Salt or some Slap Ya Mama seasoning.
Secretary of State Rex Tillerson is currently updating his LinkedIn profile to include his work at the White House. He’s spent a good portion of his morning calling friends to see who’s hiring, and practicing saying the word “funemployment,” because he’s out. Everyone knows he’s out, including Tillerson. Which is the…
Since President TrumPutin’s playbook only includes lying, mentioning Hillary Clinton and blaming Barack Obama, it’s safe to assume that if the president has a sit-down interview with fake-news Fox, you can bet he’s going to do one of the three, if not all of them.