Michael Ballaban's posts - Greek uPOST

Here's Proof a Lexus can be Loud Enough to Re-Arrange Your Whole Face

Yes, I know, there are Lexuses (Lexii?) that sound good. But there aren’t too many that are LOUD. I’m talking Saturn-V-on-launch-loud. Proper noise. Like the unearthly noise coming out of this supercharged Lexus GS F.

If You Can Hack Into This Tesla Model 3, It's Yours

Pwn2Own is a hacking conference with a very simple premise: Hack into the device, and it’s yours. All sorts of computers and browsers and devices have been featured over the years, but for the first time ever, there will be a car. Specifically, a Tesla Model 3. Hackers will try their best to get inside its systems and…

Infiniti's Big Fancy Electric Concept Broke Before It Could Even Debut Infiniti's Big Fancy Electric Concept Broke Before It Could Even Debut

The Infiniti QX Inspiration concept is supposed to be leading the way for Infiniti, showing the bright electric crossover future to come. It was supposed to physically debut at the Detroit Auto Show. Instead, it couldn’t even make it out to all the waiting journalists.

Everything Bad? Yes, Report Says Everything Bad? Yes, Report Says

Declining car sales, China’s market is going down, and Renault is accusing someone (?) of a “a purposefully orchestrated destabilization campaign.” All that and more in The Morning Shift for January 14, 2019.

What Are The 'Unbelievable' And 'Stronger' And 'Better' Vehicles Currently Assaulting Our Border?

The United States Border Patrol is notoriously bad at driving its Ford F-150 Raptors, but the thing is, it has Raptors. It is pretty much the best high-speed desert-driving mass-market vehicle there is. If you want something better, you’re going to have to go with a buggy, which the cops also have. But apparently, it…

Here's a Depressing Snapshot of Our Nation's Garbage Roads Here's a Depressing Snapshot of Our Nation's Garbage Roads

This nation, this once great and glorious nation, has been cursed with a plague for the past 20 years. It is the curse of the big wheel and the skinny, worthless tire. We need to bring back big, meaty, beautiful sidewalls, and this map showing where the worst roads in America are shows precisely why.

Here's How You Use a Backpack Nuke

The Special Atomic Demolition Munition, AKA the SADM, AKA “a backpack nuke,” is what it sounds like. It’s a nuke that can fit in a backpack. Here’s how you use one. You know, just in case you were wondering.

JALOPNIK TREND ALERT: Humblebadging JALOPNIK TREND ALERT: Humblebadging

We’ve all seen it. Some slightly scruffy, previous-generation Mercedes S-Class of unknowable provenance, festooned in both ///AMG and Maybach badges. It cannot be both. It is neither. The up-badging must stop, but thankfully a new TREND is emerging: Humblebadging.

Does Hockey Have Any Damn Business In Texas? Does Hockey Have Any Damn Business In Texas?

This week we’re talking about Notre Dame, New Year’s resolutions, whether you too can be a Football Man, and of course, Mitsubishi. 

Jeep Is Killing It Right Now Jeep Is Killing It Right Now

A nice number of you won’t stop buying crossovers, Aston Martin is preparing for the Brexit apocalypse, and oil’s replacement might bring some similar foibles. All that and more in the Morning Shift for January 7, 2019.

How the Soviet Union Once Built the Noisiest Airliner in the World out of a Nuclear Bomber How the Soviet Union Once Built the Noisiest Airliner in the World out of a Nuclear Bomber

It’s the 1950s, and you’re the Soviet Union. Your deepest rivals, the Americans and their corporations, are all preparing the latest and greatest jet airliners to fly them all over the world. And you’ve got... pretty much nothing. But you do have a huge bomber ready to deliver the apocalypse.

What Do You Want To Know About The Maserati Quattroporte? What Do You Want To Know About The Maserati Quattroporte?

If you want a big, luxurious, Big Beef Boy car, you’ve got plenty of options. Mercedes S-Class, BMW 7, Jaguar XJ, Audi A8, Lexus LS, and probably something else that I’ve evicted from my mind for being too boring. The Maserati Quattroporte is not too boring, however. Oh, not at all.

This Is How They Unload Coal Trains

I’ve never thought about how coal actually gets used. It came out of the ground, it goes into a power plant, soot comes out, and West Virginia dies happy and very, very early. The end. Sure, it had to go onto a train at some point, and that train was probably unloaded by Dickensian street urchins with shovels or…

The Most-Read Jalopnik Posts of 2018 The Most-Read Jalopnik Posts of 2018

We all know that Jalopnik is not good for your health, or ours. But for reasons that are utterly beyond us, you people will not stop reading it. These are the most-read Jalopnik posts for all of 2018.

Racing's Best/Worst Idea Took 12 Jaguar XJ220s and Went Downhill From There

Think of your dream, no-holds-barred, greatest racing series idea. It might involve drivers like Mario Andretti, Parnelli Jones, and Paul Newman for a little star power. Maybe a fleet of Jaguar XJ220s, which all get destroyed in huge crashes. Then you put it on TV. It was absurd and great and bad, and you’ll love the…

The Spinners – 'Rubberband Man' The Spinners – 'Rubberband Man'

Traffic sucks, so why not start your morning off with some music? You provide the toast and we’ll provide the jams.

When Even the Soviet Union Got Into Group B When Even the Soviet Union Got Into Group B

Group B’s popularity wasn’t just apparent from the huge crowds filling every stage. It was apparent from who was getting involved. Sure, there were some oddballs like Ferrari and a Citroen BX, but there was one that should’ve been ideologically opposed to the whole idea as an example of decadent bourgeois capitalism.…

Watching a Car Drive Over Random Stuff is Oddly Satisfying and Deeply Unsettling

This is a brief interlude from Group B-smas, I know, but bear with me here because I can’t find what it is that’s both so oddly satisfying and yet deeply strange about this whole video. Is it the nice little crunch from some floral foam? The exploding pudding packs?

Let The Grand Tour Explain Why The Lancia 037 Was So Great

Everyone that’s heard of Group B rally before knows about the Audi Quattro. It came storming in, flying through stages with its trick all-wheel-drive system, and totally revolutionized the sport. Everyone remembers its dominance. There’s only one problem with that little story – the rear-wheel-drive, Italian, Lancia…

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